The sunshine through the rain

 Since I hadn't worked in six weeks (four of hospital bed rest, two after Gabriel was born), I made the decision to go back to work on July 1st so that I could save my time off for when he comes home.  It was very hard to leave when he was still in so much pain, still struggling, still so small.  Trent stayed with him every moment and sent me updates, which saved my sanity.  I would see Gabriel before work at 5:30am, come right back after work and stay until midnight, then go home and start all over again at 4:45 the next morning.  It was gruling, and people thought I was OCD, but I would continue this schedule until Gabriel was home.  Who needs sleep?  I was on bed rest for four weeks...I slept enough for a year! 

Aside from the fact that Trent was there with Gabriel, there was only one other reason I was able to focus at work - the amazing health care profesionals taking care of him.  They were our lifeline when things were the hardest - from the very first day Gabriel was born.  They were strong when he needed multiple needle sticks, when he couldn't be weaned from his vapotherm, when he needed a transfusion.  They celebrated with us at the great times:  when he would smile, or we could hold him, or give him a bath...when he pooped for the first time (he was two weeks old)!  They each treated him as they would their own family...and they became part of our family.

Nurses:

"Nana" Shari:  From the first day on, Shari was in love with Gabriel.  Soon to be dubbed "Nana" Shari, she was our first primary day nurse, meaning she would be assigned to him every day she was there (the nurses work 12 hour shifts, so everyday there is one day and one night nurse).  At first we were afraid to touch Gabriel because he seemed so fragile, but Shari would encourage us to let him hold our finger, then change his diaper, then lift him up when the bed needed changed.  She helped us get over our fear of his frailty and all of the monitors and cords attached to him, and really bond with our son.  For that, we will be forever grateful.  Nana Shari gave Gabriel his first "bubble bath" and has since had many spa days with him.  We have gotten to know her and what an amazing person and mother she is outside of the NICU.  Gabriel knows her voice, and I'll never forget the first day that she got to snuggle him during one of his feedings - her face lit up and his vitals became very stable - it was a match made in heaven!

Abby:  Abby was Gabriel's nurse the very first night he was born.  She too immediately signed up to be one of his primaries....much to Gabriel's liking.  You know the saying, "All men are the same?"  Well, it is definitely nature over nurture - Gabriel had a crush on Abby from day one.  When most nurses were with him and he heard me speak, Gabriel would look around for me...but when Abby was there, momma might as well be in China, because he would stare longingly at Abby until she left the room again.  His "chill"ness and her patient, easygoing, sweet personality just clicked.  Due to Trent's probing, we found out Abby has two boys of her own, and is a great mom.  We are so grateful that we can sigh in relief that even when we can't be there, Abby is taking care of him.

Tracy:  Tracy is another night nurse "looker" that Gabriel loves..I might be in trouble in about 16 years!  He is a LADIES MAN!  Tracy, Trent and I have had many conversations about life, relationships, and God.  Sounds deep, right?  On one hand, yes, but on another, we feel like she is just a friend having a talk over coffee.  I can relate well to her because we are very similar, she is just MUCH sweeter...and Trent loves to listen to her stories and offer his advice.  She always teases that her boyfriend better watch out - Gabriel will give him a run for his money!  Tracy is a great NICU nurse with a huge heart, and we are so glad we can rest at night knowing she is with Gabriel (probably flirting!)

Rubi:  Rubi is Gabriel's second day primary nurse.  She loves Gabriel, and is so gentle and kind.  And HILARIOUS!  She has certain phrases she uses a lot that make us laugh, such as, "That is CORRECT-O!" and "All that jazz" and "Whatev".  Sometimes I will walk into the room, and she will be changing Gabriel or listening to his lungs, and she will be talking to him...in full sentences like he understands.  It is so cute.  After a while, you get to know people personally even when they are there in a professional capacity.  It was an honor to get to know Rubi and hear about her family.  She is a class act and we are so glad she is with us.



Ashley:  Ashley wasn't working the first four weeks of Gabriel's life...she was at home taking care of her family at a tough time.  The first night that she was Gabriel's nurse, we were a little upset.  You see, we were used to his primaries and didn't love it when we had someone new just because we weren't sure they would love him like we do when we go home at night to sleep.  I remember when she walked in that first night, she immediately sensed that I was leery of a "new" (to us) nurse and said, "I have been a NICU nurse for years. I'm not new, I was just off for a while to take care of my family at home."  It was like she was giving me a verbal resume...but it worked.  I immediately liked her and so did Trent (and Gabriel!)  When Abby moved to day shift, I asked Ashley if she wanted to sign up to be his second night primary, and she agreed to do just that.  Only later would she tell me that she didn't usually take primary patients, and that Gabriel had made her realize that she is in the right place, career wise (she had considered going to NNP school) and that she loved bedside nursing.  Her attitude and empathy for what we are going through are touching, and she makes us realize that although this is hard, we are making it.  She is a true gem.

Other NICU nurses:  Since his primaries weren't always there, Gabriel had a chance to have basically every nurse that worked in the unit.  They were all amazing nurses and they all became like family.  Emily - always upbeat, Melissa - calm, collected and nice, Michele - loves Westies like us!, Ann - has a daughter named Krissi who is married to a Trent (what are the chances?).  Little stories, anectodes and smiles from these ladies made each day bearable.  Special thanks to every NICU nurse that took care of Gabriel.

RT's:

While only in the room for a few minutes at a time, the RT's got to know Gabriel and were very gentle when "puffing" him (he had both Qvar and albuterol steroid treatments).  Thank you all - special thanks to Willie, Marty, Jay and Christi.

NNPs:  The neonatal nurse practitioners are the neonatologists right hand women.  Daily they report on Gabriel at "rounds", so they got to know him pretty well.  Sharon and Donna were always are there to answer questions, give advice and encourage us during the hard times.  They were disappointed when we were (especially about the PICC lines and Vapotherm weaning) and shared our happiness at the small successes.

Neonatologists:  I could not ask for more.  Our three main neonatologists are genius-level thinkers and family-driven in their practice.  They kept us involved every step of the way, and talked us down off the ledge more times than I can count.  Not once did I feel like they needed to be somewhere else when they were talking to me - they were "present" in every way.  It's hard not to get attached to such wonderful people as Drs Edwards, Byrne and Konana who give such great care to both their tiny patients and their families. 

These health care professionals are a big part of the reason that Gabriel is here today, and that is never to be forgotten.  They are our sunshine through the rain.